lavendertook

Tuxie died on Aug 30th after having a cluster of 3 seizures last month and having difficulty recovering from them and adjusting to anti-seizure drugs. I was not happy with most of the emergency vets we went to and will always wonder that if he had better care, might he have lived longer, or if it was just his time and he was already in decline, but he had struggled enough and his body was failing and his blood glucose was yo-yoing crazily that early Wednesday morning, so I agreed to his euthanizing but regret I didn’t get to hold him at the end like all my other cats. I’m so glad, though, that I insisted on going in back to say goodbye and pet and kiss him before I left the vets before he died. They said he was unresponsive but I saw his toes curl and felt movement in his face as I pet and spoke to him. The emergency vet called shortly after I got home to ask to euthanize him and he would have sufferd more if we made him wait until I got back there, so I didn’t get to be with him. I brought home his body Friday night to give the meezers a chance to say their goodbyes and to bury him Saturday, and he was still sleek and beautiful. I put a bouquet of blooming catnip between his paws and buried him in the backyard 6 feet from where I buried his momma Mooshka 4 years ago under the apricot sapling. Moo is watching over Tuxie again and Tuxie is watching over the house he loved. I met him following his momma just a few blocks from where I live now, so it feels appropriate to have him and his mom compost the soil they came from.

That was a week ago Saturday. He was almost 17 and a half years old, 3 more years than his mom got and a few months more than his beloved Saki. He lived with diabetes and seizure disorder the last 9 years and pancreatitis the last few. Starting out feral and choosing to move in with me at 6 months even though he wasn’t ready to be pet yet, he lost the need to hide form strangers in his home his last few years. He was a toggle kitty--one who would purr for pets one minute and bite at your hand the next, but could be quite the sweetheart when he was in the mood and crawl into my arms demanding to be held tight and get pets and kisses. If he had siblings, they were removed from him early, and he never learned how to play well with others. He would corner and beat up Moo and Saki, who he adored and would cuddle up to afterwards. I’m glad he had aged out of doing that when the young meezers came along. They adored him, and he accepted it to varying degrees. The Sunday night before he died, after I brought him home from the emergency vet after his afternoon seizure, he was more affectionate than ever, headbonking me every time I woke to ask for more pets and kisses. He was always affectionate after seizures, and having been treated with valium and their letting him wolf down a post seizure meal he was moreso. And maybe he was saying a very loving goodbye.

I knew Purrsimmon would have the hardest time of the 3 cats, as she loved Tuxie most, and she didn’t eat well and threw up each day for a week after her last goodbye to him, but has thankfully made it through that stage of mourning and his been keeping things down and eating well since Saturday. She still sits near his feeding station looking mournful at times. We are grieving together and I love her up every chance she gives me. She just settled down next to me again. I miss my big, beautiful Tuxie boy.

So. New kitten! I brought him home today! Loooooooook!



This pic was taken by his foster and put up on petfinder.com and I as not strong enough to resist applying for him. He was named Spencer, but I am calling him Kimba--my earliest childhood anime hero, and also a name close to our Kimbra. I’ll give him his full name when I'm sure it fits him. He is about 3 1/2 months old--about 2 weeks older than Shuri was when I brought her home last year, but the pic is probably closer to when he was 2 months. And OMG, he is soooooo sweet! He loves to be held and purrs like a motorboat and goes straight for your face with his nose locking his eyes on yours. So, so, so loving!

I met him on zoom almost 3 weeks ago--yup the kittens are all up on pandemic tech, too. And I of course said I would take him. The very next evening, poor Tuxie started bleeding out his rear all over the placeand peeing all over. I got him to the vet and it was a urinary tract infection as I suspected. They are apparently very painful, poor baby. The doc gave him a shot of Covenia, and gave he heavy duty probiotics to give him. We decided to wait 2 weeks before bringing in the kitten, depending on how he was doing, not wanting to add stress until he was well. He progressed wonderfully, and had his followup last Monday, and the go ahead on the kitten. So we worked out the details this very insane week in this country. Tuesday I was busy voluntering with Election Defenders as a poll monitor/voter aide for my county down in Fort Washington. Then I was scattered and kind of off the rest of the week like most of us. But we worked it out, and I drove out to Round Hill, VA a little town near the Appalachians, met his wonderful foster and brought him home with a gorgeous sunset over the mountains in my rear view mirror. It’s not far from El Trumpo’s golf course, so I am glad I did not run into his motorcade either way.

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For the first time, I am sitting on the sofa with Tuxie in the cat bed to the left of me, and Purrsimmon in the cat bed to the right of me, and Shuri slithered in between Purrsimmon and me, and is snuggled against me. All 4 of us are on the sofa together! Shuri and Purrsimmon look so cutely intertwined.

The girls don’t sleep together too much, because it’s hard for one of them to not start licking and then wrestling the other, so they usually sleep separate. But they’re managing it for now. They would love to be cuddling with Tuxie, too, but he still would not allow that. If he lives long enough, that may change one day. I am a happy human with my fuzzy kids around me.

In 4 days, Shuri will be a year old! She is the first of my kitties whose birthday I know since her mother gave birth to her litter in a foster home. For her birthday present Sunday, I am going to move the refrigerator, and sweep out the dozens of toys she has shoved under it for safe-keeping. It will be like being in a cat toy shop! There are times I have tried to stop her, but she is too quick, and so off her toy went where it would be stored and safe. That she wouldn’t have it to play with, is one causal chain link too far for her little brain, excellent cat brain as it is. Cats are really great at causal reasoning for one step, but one step only. Still better than a lot of people.

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So back to a simpler time, when cat wrangling was my major anxiety and hope, back to the last day of 2019 and the saga of Purrsimmon and the rocky introduction of little Shuri.

Though Shuri did not have such a storied background as Purrsimmon, and thank goodness for that, here is what I do know about her history. Her mother Silverbell was found or surrendered to a shelter in Rowan County, NC between Winston Salem and Charlotte--central piedmont area of the state. I had driven just north of that county many times when I lived in Carrboro and Chapel Hill in the 80's. That shelter needed to make room for coastal shelter refugees from the effects of Hurricane Dorian in September, so a foster in Harford County, MD took in the pregnant Silverbell and there she gave birth to a litter of 7, on September 20th, Shuri among them. Here are pics of Silverbell I saw on petfinder:



Her fluffy coat is nothing like Shuri's short one or in color except for the cute little snowshoes. I can see a resemblance in face shape.

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When I was deciding whether or not to keep Purrsimmon's name, I googled "persimmon" and was surprised to learn it was a Native American word, or rather, an aglicization thereof. Specifically, it is an Algonquin word of the Powhatan people, which are the people who lived where Purry was found, fostered, and now lives, and if I followed correctly, some descendants have taken up tribal recognition in NJ, the state where I was born and grew up. So these are all awesome connections arguing for keeping the name.

I had always thought "persimmon" was an Asian word, probably because more grocery stores carry Chinese and Japanese varieties of persimmons. But since Purry is a siamese cat, it's good that there is an Asian connection here in usage and there are varieties of persimmon trees grown in the highlands of southeast Asia. There are hundreds of varieties world wide, but the Powhatan would have been referring to the Virginia Persimmon, a tree that grows throughout the eastern US up to CT and as far west as Minnesota, and has a smaller fruit than the popular Asian varieties. In those of these trees that live at least a century, their heart wood (dead core) becomes a hard ebony wood, and ebony trees are actually of the same family. Technically, the fruit is classified as a berry, which means I have me a Purry Berry! A Creamy Dreamy Sunny Funny Furry Purry Berry with the Bluest Blueberry eyes!!! Mooooore nicknames! I will save telling you her full name for another entry.

Here's a good pic I finally got of my Elf Princess's eyes:



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I've been looking at petfinder.com pretty much daily since Saki died 4 years ago, to get my siamese fix and see what meezers were out there for adoption. This was the longest stretch I've ever lived without a meezer in my home. I didn't think Moo would be happy with a new addition, being a competitive kitty who did not like competing for attention, and she finally had more of my attention after Saki was gone. And I think it was the right decision and I'm glad I got to give Moo all the attention she wanted for her last 4 years and got to see more sides of her and that there was nothing between her and me loving her up at the end. Tuxie is fine with giving room.

Though Moo and Tuxie didn't seem close since Moo was done mothering him 13 years ago back when I thought they were inseparable, they became close again the first nervous month after the move to the house this summer and huddled together, so they could still take comfort in each other and their sense of family was definitely still there. Since Tuxie had never lived without Moo, I didn't want Tuxie to be alone long after she died. I needed a kitty who craved more attention than Tuxie, as well. I always told Tuxie I was going to get a young siamese kitty to drive him nuts when he'd be an aggressive jerk to his beloved Saki, so it was time for karma to take it's course.

After Moo died the beginning of December, I put in an application on a 2 year old tortie-point siamese who looked like Saki in form, though she had a lot more colors (oranges and blacks) and was described as "an aggressively affectionate bowling ball" in her ad, which would have been a good description of Saki, but someone got there first with their accepted application. Then I applied for 2 more tortie points: a 6 month old, and then a small kitten. I didn't plan on applying for kittens because kittens, and especially siamese kittens, usually place pretty easily, and I'm happy with a young cat up to 5 years, who don't get forever homes as easily, but I was getting desperate to get me a tortie point siamese by the third. I'd love to be able to take in senior cats as they're the most loving and cuddly and so in need, but I've been medicating cats for so long now, I really could use someone young and healthy for a stretch, if luck would grant it, time wise, and also expense wise--there's only so far my retirement will stretch, and my diabetic Tuxie is an expensive little boy to keep healthy. But each of these kitties was spoken for first.

Though getting a tortie point like Saki was my priority, I figured it would be best to get 2 cats and was thinking I would like to have a flame-point siamese as the second, as I've never lived with one of these red-headed beauties, and there had been a young flame-point who had been advertised for a long while on petfinder.com, which might not be a good sign, but she had a sweet face, and I had been considering her, so I put in an application.

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Moo/Mooshka/Mooshkin
Moo Brandybuck Breakstone
PriMoola Brandybuck
Princess Holstein the Winsome

April 1, 2005 (approx) - Dec 2, 2019

Moo was fading. She wouldn't eat any of the dozens of foods I set before her, and though the rugs I put down everywhere and padded steps helped her getting around better to get to her closer water and litter box stations, her front legs were beginning to go. I was giving her subcutaneous fluids at home over the weekend, and though they make them feel better over all, she was always weaker for hours after injection of them until the imbalance of the fluid bulge dispersed.

In the middle of the night last night, her breathing started to be more labored and she peed her little bed because she didn't have the strength to get up. So in the morning I determined it was time--I was afraid she was suffering with the labored breathing. And I was getting less able to get up and help her in the middle of the night after slipping on one the rugs and falling T-Day night. I took care of Tuxie's food and insulin and loved her up some more and took her to go. Tuxie didn't want to say goodbye--her breathing scared him and he turned his back on us and looked scared when I brought her to him to say goodbye.

I sat with her a couple of hours at the vet, as it turned out, because she was busy in surgery. Moo seemed stronger, her breathing back to normal, and more alert than she had been--she meowed, and made clear she wanted something. I asked for a litterbox and a cup of water brought--it was the water she wanted and she drank a lot. The strength was all probably due to the adrenaline surge of going to the vet. Otherwise I sat with her in my arms and lap, petting her, blinking love to each other as she rested. I had second thoughts as she seemed stronger, but Dr. S told me she's probably feeling worse than weak--kidney failure makes you feel lousy and nauseous.

I had a week to love her up and she blinked it back, and laid her head in my hand and paw on my lap, and seemed comforted by being carried as she always loved, but also cleaned up. She was so willing to accept help, letting me help her position her struggling legs in walking and sitting up by her water bowls and getting her tail out of the way in the litter box and purred at being cleaned up with wipes and fluffed with towels. I don't think my Saki or most other cats I know would have accepted this much help and be comforted by it. But all I needed was for her to have a fall and injure herself further or go into respiratory arrest and go in a painful and scary way. So it was time.

I held Moo in my arms, petting her and loving her as she looked back with tired love, and the Dr gave her the drugs through a catheter as she slipped away gently and was gone before I knew it.

Moo hunted me down outside my old apartment. She'd follow me down to the town center and the gym and I'd carry her back in my arms--she'd be full of delighted purrs at this--it was always her favorite thing, along with sitting in the sun. And Tuxie, her little feral shadow kitten, would cautiously but tenaciously follow behind us. I never aspired to have a black and white cow kitty--I'm imprinted for siamese cats but tabbies and calicoes have always turned my head, too. But now I'll always feel that special affection for cow kitties.

She hunted me down and I took her in my arms and carried her and loved her and then she was gone. That was Mooshka.

I hope to be able to dig a hole deep enough in the yard to plant the apricot tree and bury her beneath it. I don't know if I have the strength to get through that much clay--I may need to find someone to hire to help. But the vet is holding her body for now until I work this out. And now I need to love up Tuxie, because his relationship with his mom was complicated, and I think he knows she was dying and is gone, but we'll get through this together.

HAPPY CHANUKAH



from Mooshukah



and Tuxukah



'n' dis Jewshukah

to YOUshukaaaaaaaaah!!!!



And good on Alabama, too!!!! \o/

A very happy birthday to the most excellent Fooder1 baranduin!!! I hope you are spending a relaxing evening with warm Harry floof, and even Harry himself, and wonderful birthday treats. :-D

Moo and Tuxie would like to send their greetings--take it away, you two:


Moo: Happy Birthday, Baranduin!!! I woke up from my nap just to say that. You should be honored. Hey, King of the Mountain! You going to wish Baranduin a happy birthday?

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Our leaves peaked Friday and are past peak today. So there's as much brown and bare as color now, but there's still a lot of color and green still yet to turn. It's been a beautiful week here. This pic is from 2 weeks ago:



Cats: Tuxie is doing well. I succeeded in doing 2 blood glucose curves on him a couple of weeks back--the first day was really high, but he was just getting over whatever digestive upset he had--whether it was from a lot of bad food or a virus. The next day, his values were very normal and his tests at the vet went well, except for raised pancreatic values, like me and Moo had. I need to start spot checking him, but I wanted his ears to recover from the pin cushion I had made of them. It's been great to see him climbing both cat trees again and he's been a cuddle bun. Moo is still being a painfully slow eater who I have to monitor for a good hour or so in the morning and evening so her food doesn't get devoured by the Tuxie monster--good thing they're cute.

Health: I had a tooth pulled and just got the sutures out yesterday. In 3 weeks I'll have an implant put in. I'm on celebrex for my foot and pinched neck nerve pain. I've had a couple of podiatrist appointments, am sleeping with a night splint on my left foot, which is helping, and getting orthotics made. More appointments to go. The neuropathy in my left arm from the pinched neck nerve is still troublesome, but the celebrex is helping with the pain some. Unless it gets a lot better in the next couple of weeks, I'll probably need to do some traction therapy for it this winter to try to stretch the neck discs some, after I get through with the dentist and podiatrist. I'm just not sure what that's going to require time-wise and whether I'll have enough work leave time for it. The hot flash and anxiety problems are ongoing.

I met up with a science fiction meet-up group for lunch at the Museum of the American Indians cafe in DC. I had my first fry bread, but it wasn't hot, so not that good--will have to get fresher fry bread sometime. I even had breakfast at Denny's that morning for my full Thomas-Builds-the-Fire experience, but driving into DC made me nervous, and my anxiety level was a little high to make the day fun, what with the election and my personal chemistry. There were beautiful beaded clips in the gift shop that made me think of deluxvivens. I've been thinking of her quite a bit lately. I really miss her. Walks in the autumn beauty and framing pics of it, snuggling cats, and good novels remain the best medicine for me. And watching SNL election skits online really helps.

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So here's 2 of the pics I took this evening right before sunset. Which do you like better--the first one with the bit of water and sky or the closer one below? I can't decide.



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I'm going to attempt to do a blood glucose curve on Tuxie this weekend.

I managed to do a first reading tonight--starting this has been a big fear and procrastination conquered, with more poking of the poor baby. But fear of failing him overcame fear of lancing him and learning a new tech tool. But he hasn't been well and I'm worried about him. We see the vet on Tuesday. I'd like to have a good curve reading (testing his blood glucose levels every couple of hours throughout the day) to bring in with us.

Please send good thoughts our way.

I lost my Saki a year ago tonight. No, it's not so sharp anymore--she belongs to the past now. I so miss her bright sparkle in my life, but I'm so grateful she made it to 17 and I had 16 good years with her.


I think this is my favorite pic of her: Smiling Saki Owning her Mouse and Me.

I've uploaded below a 4 pic pre-digital fight sequence with her best sparring partner, her big sis Milli, who left several years before her. Maybe they are having fun sparring even now in a sunny corner in Primroses:

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Tuxie and his little shaved leg.

TUXIE

Tuxie is doing lots better. When he first came home after 3 nights at the emergency clinic 2 weeks ago, he was so full of love, he nuzzled me for hours--he's usually more of a rub against your legs or a short rub to your hand if he's liking being petted, but if he could have purred himself into my pores he would have, he wanted to be so close. He rubbed on Moo as if she was Saki, and got hisses to back off, then she came up and snuffled his face, so it was OK. He's since gotten back to his usual more self-contained sweet self.

The great thing is his neuropathy has reversed. He's walking totally on his toes and jumping into the bathroom window and on the sunroom cat tree like he hasn't in almost 2 years, which is wonderful to see. He's still looking interestedly at the kitty condo in the living room without jumping on it, so I don't know if his neuropathy is all the way better, but it's something. The vet lowered his insulin dose when I saw him the week before, and we'll see if it can be reduced further when we see the vet this week. I don't know if he's going into full remission, or just will be able to be on a small dose of insulin from now on--I'm sure hoping for remission. So the seizure may be due to having been able to get the carbs out of his diet a few weeks ago, but we can't know for sure without doing a brain MRI, which involves anesthesia, which I'm not willing to put him through, anytime soon at least. He's on an anti-seizure pill I give him twice a day for 3 months--he loves pill pockets, so it's easy.

I got a pet glucosemeter, lancets, and test strips, so if he ever has another seizure, I'll know if he is hypo- or hyperglycemic, and know whether he needs insulin or a sugar source, so I don't make the same mistake I made this time that made things worse. I got a lesson on using it at the vet, but I have some reading up to do on how to set it up still--bleh.

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Tuxie can see!!!!! I just spent an hour loving him up, and the doc didn't know--she said he was still blind and didn't have a good prognosis on it when I spoke to her on the phone an hour earlier, but when I got there and got him in the visiting room, his pupils narrowed when he faced the window and he went to sit by the floor length window and his head moved with the cars going by and he clearly watched a man walking toward the clinic, and he looked me in the eyes several times, and negotiated walking by narrow chair legs like a pro. So if he can't see perfectly, he can well enough for HouseCat Purposes. Thank goodness!

I'm so relieved. He's definitely doing better, but I am leaving him the night because we have to see how his blood sugars do before I can bring him home and try to keep him seizure-free. Thank you for all the awesome support through another whopper of a trial. I love you all. *hugs*

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Thank you for all your hugs and support. Yesterday was tough. Tuxie had more seizures yesterday morning after I left him and they were giving him valium, but once the seizures stopped, they started him on keppra in the afternoon and when I got to see him he was pretty doped up, but enjoyed catnip rubs and being petted asleep. They really weren't sure what was going on yet.

He hasn't had any more seizures and the doctor today thinks all of it is more likely blood sugar related than other brain issues, so she doesn't think the ultrasound is necessary (it's been a different doctor each day--that's how things roll at the emergency clinic). She says he is responding well now and they are starting him on his insulin at a lower dosage and we will see how he does. He could go home tonight, but it might be a better idea to keep him overnight--I'd rather have his blood sugar be monitored for 24 hours after starting his insulin again, frankly. I will go visit him this evening regardless. He is still blind--it could take days or weeks to return, or not at all.

I didn't get home until after 4 am Tuesday night, so I'm still exhausted and headachy and shaky today. I'm lucky to be teleworking at home.

Moo seems to be doing fine--I don't know what she thinks of Tuxie not being here. She ate more wet food this morning than she had been--a good ounce--only the one wet food so far seems to be acceptable among other flavors and brands I've tried. But she hasn't been eating much over 1 ounce a day, which I don't think is enough, so I'm giving her a little dry food at night again. I do not know if the removal of dry food changed Tuxie's balance or not, but it could have been the cause--it may be that he needs less insulin from now on if we get through this. He was eating more of his wet food, and has been eating well at the vets still. He will need to be on the keppra for 3 months. I hope to hear from our vet Dr C today and hope maybe he can shed more light on why Tuxie was having a low blood sugar seizure when I got home 14 hours after his last insulin dose before I dosed him. I wish I had gone home sooner. I am very tired.

For the last 20+ years that I've been walking around Greenbelt Lake, more often than not there has been one Great Blue heron about. I think for many years it may have been the same one. A year or so back it wasn't around much, and since then we've had a smaller more rumpled looking one around. Now it's been joined by a Great Egret. A regular I see by the lake said he's seen 3 of the egrets, But so far I've only seen the one.


Great Egret (for some reason this pic isn't showing up on DW--link on the link to LJ below to see it)
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So I did go out to grocery shop yesterday, but since the water was almost too hot on Thursday night, I flaked on going to the pool this weekend. Not a lot done, but thank you so much to my friends who help me to not feel too bad about that.

Here's some critters I've seen by the lake over the past month for you:


I believe that is an American Painted Lady butterfly.

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Moo and Tuxie planned to do a little dance for your birthday, febobe, but as you can see . . .


. . . they are very, very busy cats. It takes a lot of work and dedication to prepare to win the only feline Olympic sport and they are working very hard at their form here. They hope to bring back the gold in the synchronized team division.



Happy Birthday, dear febobe!!! May you have a gold medal birthday with fun, yummies, and love today with your folks!!! (((((You)))))

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A very happy birthday to dear mews1945!!! I hope today is filled with love and all good things and that you feel a little stronger each day. Here are some pretties and fuzzies from around Greenbelt Lake, and thereabouts for you.


A sweet william in all their variety of colors that was blooming in May by the lake.


A deer in the woods behind my apartment building who was very fascinated by my talking to him in baby talk--so many critters seem to just love that.


A squirrel by the lake feasting at a lakeside house's yard where they put out bird seed.

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