Digging Shiva

[lavendertook]

I'm still digging a ginormous hole in the ground in my backyard.



Moo is still in the freezer at the vet, as well as a paw print. I've just been digging for 30 min to one hour a day (when it isn't raining) so I don't pull out my back and because I usually can't get myself outside until there's only that much daylight left. I only have a few inches left, but I think I'm going to have to dig it a couple of feet wider to to get in and reach those inches so I don't fall in the hole again. It is solid clay down there. And roots, very far traveling roots. And an occasional rock. Where the hell is my minyan when you need them?

Grieving is weird. Tuxie was clinging to me as much as I was clinging to him last week--I am a clingy cat friend at most times--and my cousin sent me a beautiful blanket that Tuxie loved huddling under with me for a couple of nights, but I think he's moved on, or adjusted to the cooler temps in here since I turned the thermostat down after Moo died--I like it cooler at night. I haven't cried much. I've been thinking about her and the deaths of all my other beloved cat family members, except Tuxie, because he's alive--well, a little in that I'm thinking about having to dig him a ginormous hole one day and that maybe cremation isn't such a bad idea now.

I've been wondering if it's best to thaw Moo's body before burial and whether it will be too stiff to curl into the round cat-head-shaped-cardboard scratchy-box she loved which I'd like to bury her in. I wasn't planning to put her in a box, but most of the internet seems to be in agreement that You should bury Your Cat in a cardboard box--I suspect their cats told them this is how it should be done, because Cardboard!Box!--and who am I to break with this wisdom? If I can't curl the body, then I will bury it in a chewy.com box or a holiday box with a fibrous red lid, which might be good for seeing where the burial site starts if the tree dies and I need to dig the root ball out and put in another, since the lid looks less biodegradable than the rest of the box--I want biodegradable--I want her to become nutrients in the ground and not preserved in a coffin. That's how I want to go, too--and yay, I won't have to dig that huge damned hole--it'll be someone else's problem! Hey, it's something about death to look forward to! *Tolkien's Elves give me the thumbs up and sigh* So, more digging and hopefully I can bring her home before week's end.

Comments

[minoanmiss]

Oh my goodness, I wish I could help somehow. That just sounds like a lot, all that digging. A lot of love, and a lot of work. Please be careful.

I'm sure the vet's office will have helpful advice on whether to thaw her. From what I understand, once a body is thawed it decays more quickly than it would otherwise.

*hugs you very much*

[lavendertook]

Thank you for that point. I didn't know they decay faster after freezing, so you helped. Then I definitely can't take her home until I'm sure what box she'll fit in so I know if the hole is wide enough yet. And you are encouraging me to get more info from the vet, too. I just called and am waiting for someone to call back and let me know if she's still curled as I put her and measurements, so I can find out if I can bring her home tomorrow or need to do more work through the weekend. Am frustrated. I need to get myself to bed earlier tonight and get into an earlier rising pattern for sure now. *hugs back gratefully*

[wallace_trust]

Oh, man, what a job to have to do during the holidays! 😿

For what it's worth, (macabre as this is) ours always end up too stiff to pose. Our usual routine is to just put kitty in a cardboard box, usually on a towel or blankie. Sometimes we include their favorite toy, if they had one. When we put the box in the grave, we shower it with whatever flowers are blooming at the time. I generally walk three times around the grave keeping it on my right side, to honor our friend in the ancient Hindu tradition.

I'm sorry you fell in that hole and I hope the burial goes smoothly. It's always so hard. *Hugs you and Tuxie*

[lavendertook]

Hey, it's better than summer and having to dig when it's sweltering out here! And this season has been ratcheting up the death anniversaries for me this last decade, so it is what it is.

Moo was never that into very much playing and I was her favorite toy, followed by Tuxie, so we won't include those with her. (-; Being carried really was her favorite thing, followed by petting, brushing, and soaking in sunshine.

Thank you. I'm just missing New Jersey soil big time and how easy it was to put in a garden when I was a tween. There's a reason NJ is called The Garden State. It's pure red clay here in Maryland a foot down, with some very intrepid roots and a few rocks. Wretched stuff. But I am even more grateful to all the evergreen trees and bushes that have already been planted around my house cheering my winter view, before I put in all my additions. But if the apricot tree makes it, it will have benefitted form a much larger hole I will fill with good soil than I otherwise would have due to Moo, even if it makes no other use of her as nutrients. That's a nice ritual. No blooming flowers here, but I will sit down and recite some stories about Moo to the earth when I've finished planting the tree and building up the mound around it. *hugs*

[just_ann_now]

Jenna went in in a box, one that I'd been saving for her (thank you, Amazon). Since she died at home I was able to get her into the ground quickly, within a couple hours, curled into a perfect fit. I doubt if my hole is quite deep enough, but I put concrete pavers on top to keep other curious critters away. At some point (probably just before I sell the place, if ever) I'll put a stone out there so future gardeners won't be surprised - it's the sunniest spot on the property and was a prime tomato-growing spot. But now it's catmint and anise hyssop and native bee balm, a perfect butterfly garden, which she would appreciate, I think.

[lavendertook]

You brought her butterflies. I bet she would appreciate that. It makes me think of this song by Kipyn Martin, one of my favorite local musicians:

https://kipynmartin.com/listen/s/dance_across_the_sky

To your Jenna and my Mooshka: May they dance across the sky! Now I need a tissue.

[just_ann_now]

*hands tissue, keeps one for self*

[lavendertook]

Thank you. Our furry flutterbys.

[shirebound]

I often think about what I'll do when Pippin crosses the rainbow bridge (she's between 11 and 12 years old now). I think my choice will be cremation (as it is for myself), burying some of the ashes in a favorite place and keeping some for myself in case I ever move again.

I know that Moo's resting place will be a place of peace and beauty. ♥

[lavendertook]

Cremation may cost more than burying in the back yard, but it's definitely much less effort, though you are in Jersey where the soil is so good and much easier to dig. I find cemeteries and mausoleums to be a wasteful use of space in a crowded world for the living now, so I definitely prefer cremation, but if you can put the body directly in the ground and compost it so it can be of use to grow trees over it, that's best of all for me, and I can do that now for Moo since I'm now steward of a little bit of earth. I'm hoping the "composting people" movement will grow so I can be of use to a tree, too. And I have tufts of her fur to pet and sniff and keep in a special container which I prefer to ashes for my beloveds. Your vet should be able to make a paw print of hers in clay for you and cut or shave tufts of her fur for you if you ask. I will be picking up Moo's paw print they made me when I pick up her body, if I can ever get this hole wide and deep enough.

[primwood]

I had my kitty cremated. They returned him in a little wood box with a tiny lock on it. I have it sitting in the house with his photo next to it.

[lavendertook]

Photos are still the prime memorial for the use of the living, aren't they? But I'm glad I had a couple of little vids of Saki with her playful meows because I miss her voice and conversation so much and so wish I had some voice recordings of my first cat Storm who was a magnificent singer. She made so many different kinds of sounds in sweet and funny tones. But it's also comforting to be able to revisit the way they moved. Moo didn't meow a lot and never learned to use a meow for attention or conversation until her very last weeks she meowed for food at feeding time for the first time a few times before she got sick--I don't think it was connected to her impending illness either. So, I don't have recordings of her voice, but a lot of the pics I took of her on my iPhone were accidentally on "live" setting so I have a lot of 3 second vids that show her moving that I know I'll revisit.

[febobe]

No words seem to suit, as I don't have experience enough to advise, just *hugs and snugs and sooo much love, and scritches for Tuxie, too*

Please be careful. I wish we lived close together and I had a strapping teen son to send your way, or a pair of them, and then I could bring over a pot of soup and some cornbread. I wish I could find some way to be there across the miles. <3

*hugs snugs loves*

[lavendertook]

I feel you are when I read your comment, love. You send the best hugs and that is an awesome wish, all of it, I will savor. *nestles and snugs* Having Tuxie here really helps. He is my little couch potato.