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Tuxie died on Aug 30th after having a cluster of 3 seizures last month and having difficulty recovering from them and adjusting to anti-seizure drugs. I was not happy with most of the emergency vets we went to and will always wonder that if he had better care, might he have lived longer, or if it was just his time and he was already in decline, but he had struggled enough and his body was failing and his blood glucose was yo-yoing crazily that early Wednesday morning, so I agreed to his euthanizing but regret I didn’t get to hold him at the end like all my other cats. I’m so glad, though, that I insisted on going in back to say goodbye and pet and kiss him before I left the vets before he died. They said he was unresponsive but I saw his toes curl and felt movement in his face as I pet and spoke to him. The emergency vet called shortly after I got home to ask to euthanize him and he would have sufferd more if we made him wait until I got back there, so I didn’t get to be with him. I brought home his body Friday night to give the meezers a chance to say their goodbyes and to bury him Saturday, and he was still sleek and beautiful. I put a bouquet of blooming catnip between his paws and buried him in the backyard 6 feet from where I buried his momma Mooshka 4 years ago under the apricot sapling. Moo is watching over Tuxie again and Tuxie is watching over the house he loved. I met him following his momma just a few blocks from where I live now, so it feels appropriate to have him and his mom compost the soil they came from.
That was a week ago Saturday. He was almost 17 and a half years old, 3 more years than his mom got and a few months more than his beloved Saki. He lived with diabetes and seizure disorder the last 9 years and pancreatitis the last few. Starting out feral and choosing to move in with me at 6 months even though he wasn’t ready to be pet yet, he lost the need to hide form strangers in his home his last few years. He was a toggle kitty--one who would purr for pets one minute and bite at your hand the next, but could be quite the sweetheart when he was in the mood and crawl into my arms demanding to be held tight and get pets and kisses. If he had siblings, they were removed from him early, and he never learned how to play well with others. He would corner and beat up Moo and Saki, who he adored and would cuddle up to afterwards. I’m glad he had aged out of doing that when the young meezers came along. They adored him, and he accepted it to varying degrees. The Sunday night before he died, after I brought him home from the emergency vet after his afternoon seizure, he was more affectionate than ever, headbonking me every time I woke to ask for more pets and kisses. He was always affectionate after seizures, and having been treated with valium and their letting him wolf down a post seizure meal he was moreso. And maybe he was saying a very loving goodbye.
I knew Purrsimmon would have the hardest time of the 3 cats, as she loved Tuxie most, and she didn’t eat well and threw up each day for a week after her last goodbye to him, but has thankfully made it through that stage of mourning and his been keeping things down and eating well since Saturday. She still sits near his feeding station looking mournful at times. We are grieving together and I love her up every chance she gives me. She just settled down next to me again. I miss my big, beautiful Tuxie boy.
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