Peaceful Leave Taking

[lavendertook]

My mom died tonight.

I called the hospice unit right before getting ready to go to bed to ask the nurse how Mom was doing and to ask her to give my mom my love, as I've been doing these past several nights. And as the receptionist put me on hold while the nurse was with my mom, Mom took her last breath.

I saw her again last Saturday with my brother, but she did not open her eyes or speak and it is anyone's guess if she could still hear then, but I talked to her all while I was there and swabbed her lips. She had been sleeping through since Thursday night last, and on pain meds, and passed on so peacefully tonight after 14 years of battling cancer and chemo.

The phone--it was such a fraught thing with us. I'm very grateful I heard her call to share love with me at the very last.

Comments

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Probably comfort and annoyance both, as in the rest of life. She didn't like my voice and always wanted me to have a lower register.

We were so very connected--and it's so painful we couldn't make more of that connection in life--I wanted it so and worked many years to try to fix it, and she always pushed away, and then I had to finally push away a while to build my boundaries, and so she pushed away more--so sad. But I'm glad we connected at the very end. And my brother said it made it much easier for him to hear it from me than from the hospice staff. And she passed peacefully in the best care she could have, so that is all a comfort. We did the best we could and it mattered.

Thank you, my friend. *hugs*

[jan-u-wine.livejournal.com]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

well, without the 'promise' of new annoyances, the old ones may, with time, fade to bemusements. Then you'll have comfort and bemusement, which is a better combinations.

I think most of us, when we come to the finalities, suddenly flash on all the things that we needed to fix and didn't, and then do our damndest to make those things better.

In love, in life, in being a child, in being a parent, in being in that weird place of being an adult child (or an aged parent), there are always difficulties, and sometimes they are massive and can't be entirely resolved. So it is wonderful that a clear message was sent between you. A message of love. The best thing there is.

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((LT)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) many hugs and love

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Yes, that says it all.

*hugs you*