When I was over at
ancalime8301's changing the water for the kitties in the kitchen, I overheard Maia reciting something in the living room to Abby, who commented upon what Maia said. I've recorded it below. Abby's commentary is in brackets.
First, the reciter:

Dear Mom,
We hasten to remind you [Oh, hasten to remind is good!] that in but a few short years, your adorable kitten [They call them babies, Maia! Duh!] baby human nephew shall be a sullen and angry teenager who will barely speak to you or any member of your family. We, on the other hand, [Ooo, I like that transition!] shall remain adorable, furry, purring [Put that in caps, Maia; they can't purr, so it's worth emphasizing] PURRING, and easy to carry in your arms for the rest of our lives. [Or on your shoulders, purring in your ear]
This human
lavendertook you have appointed to check in on us does a serviceably good job, but she smells [Reeks! OMG!] of other cats, such that we question her moral character. There's no telling how many cats she's hanging out with. [Seriously] It's shameful. [Totally] We thought you should know. [Definitely]
We also want you to know that we are doing our utmost to resist puking on the furniture [It's really hard], but we can't be expected to hold out for long. [Sooooo true] Do hurry home. We miss you. [I want my Mom!]
Purrs, licks, and headbutts,
Maia & Abby
Her commentator, in a rare still moment:

First, the reciter:

Dear Mom,
We hasten to remind you [Oh, hasten to remind is good!] that in but a few short years, your adorable kitten [They call them babies, Maia! Duh!] baby human nephew shall be a sullen and angry teenager who will barely speak to you or any member of your family. We, on the other hand, [Ooo, I like that transition!] shall remain adorable, furry, purring [Put that in caps, Maia; they can't purr, so it's worth emphasizing] PURRING, and easy to carry in your arms for the rest of our lives. [Or on your shoulders, purring in your ear]
This human
We also want you to know that we are doing our utmost to resist puking on the furniture [It's really hard], but we can't be expected to hold out for long. [Sooooo true] Do hurry home. We miss you. [I want my Mom!]
Purrs, licks, and headbutts,
Maia & Abby
Her commentator, in a rare still moment:

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Thank you so much for checking on them. <3
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Awwww... Abby is so funny. <3 They did give me a very warm welcome, though I think there was also a bit of disbelief that I was actually back. Abby spent the evening scolding me rather insistently (or else telling me what they were up to while I was gone, I couldn't tell ;-) ).