Just too much! It's like twirling mustaches time.

[lavendertook]

After claiming victimization for herself, this idiot is now hitting up the POC fans she insulted to work on her e-zine! Un-fucking-believable! This is an over the top display of privilege and if you want to know what racism looks like, that is it.

If you need some background on what this has come out of, see rydra_wong's LJ for a collection of links, starting here and here.

Comments

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

//waves hi shyly -- followed a link from ithiliana

So, yeah, it went badly, and maybe Bear didn't know how to handle it, which is understandable. But there's been days to process, and take responsibility for it. And there's been time to talk about how you handle criticism when those you have privilege over offer you critique over representations that effect them most. I'm not seeing it happen. And I haven't heard any follow up on how behavior in comments contradicted stated intent in her entry from Monette and any address to the people she hurt.

I think this is a really, really good point -- yeah, even just a response post with comments disabled about 'am busy, stepping back and cooling down' now, but it's....weird, to see it not-addressed at all.


The good part to come out of this is the Remyth Project and the really fine writing going on there. The fans of color writing there don't need mac-stone's stinking connections.

The Remyth Project is fabulous and awesome. It's the one good thing to come out of this whole awful shitty mess, and boy is it lovely and heartbreaking. (Which is one reason why I felt FURIOUS when I saw that 'I will edit an e-zine for a summer of diversity' shilling crap -- WTF!)

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Awww, welcome! *offers tea and chocolate* (-:

Thank you! And now she's done a great post . . addressed mainly to us white folks, which is very helpful, and makes me want to say thanks, but the people who really got the rocks hurled at them in her comments and spiraling out from there are still waiting, and well, why should they wait longer when they should have the front row seats? So I'm feeling pretty meh about it.

Yeah, that was shilling all right, timed and phrased in the most exploitive way possible. Good on her for stepping down today, but she said some really awful stuff--apologies at the least are in order.

[livinglaurel.livejournal.com]

MMMMMM tea and chocolate. //happily accepts

addressed mainly to us white folks, which is very helpful, and makes me want to say thanks, but the people who really got the rocks hurled at them in her comments and spiraling out from there are still waiting, and well, why should they wait longer when they should have the front row seats? So I'm feeling pretty meh about it.

Yeah, you know, that's totally it -- I was trying to figure out why it just didn't work for me, and you really put your finger on it.

I do think Avalon's Willow deserves an apology, from both matociquala and truepenny, too -- Bear not so much for anything she said, I don't think, altho I do think truepenny should apologize specifically for the stuff she said about "short-circuiting" and so on, which was awful; not that it's really at all the same thing, but when I was in marital counseling, one thing we learned was that an apology helps the most if it's really specific. That helps the injured person feel visible, like their problems are real and matter, and that the specific problem is being addressed. Just a totally blanket "I have done my part to make this discussion a clusterfuck, and I am sorry" doesn't really....help. That's like, I guess, "I am sorry your foot got stepped on" or, worse, "I am sorry I did my part to ensure your foot got stepped on." Not good.

But the other thing is, vito_excalibur was telling me in a thread on my LJ how when the whole Backup Project really took off in her LJ, it was finals week, but she sucked it up and moderated it because she didn't want the idea to get bogged down in endless discussions of what rape/harrassment was/wasn't, and she didn't want people to go away more disillusioned and sad and feeling hopeless than when they went in. LJ really has this weird liminality; when you post something in your blog, it's your space, and other people come and comment on it, but at the same time, unless it's flocked or even private, it's also the space of the people who come to write -- and read -- in your space as well. So I think even just a simple "I'm sorry I let some of that be said in my space, I should have been more vigilant" might really help. I don't know.

Also (I just woke up a couple hours ago) we now have FLOUNCE-AND-DELETE from pnh, medievalist and I'm afraid to check Shetterly's blog because MY EYES, THE LAST TIME I DID THAT.

[sparkymonster.livejournal.com]

I do think Avalon's Willow deserves an apology, from both [info]matociquala and [info]truepenny, too -- Bear not so much for anything she said, I don't think, altho I do think [info]truepenny should apologize specifically for the stuff she said about "short-circuiting" and so on, which was awful; not that it's really at all the same thing, but when I was in marital counseling, one thing we learned was that an apology helps the most if it's really specific. That helps the injured person feel visible, like their problems are real and matter, and that the specific problem is being addressed. Just a totally blanket "I have done my part to make this discussion a clusterfuck, and I am sorry" doesn't really....help. That's like, I guess, "I am sorry your foot got stepped on" or, worse, "I am sorry I did my part to ensure your foot got stepped on." Not good.

FYI, that apology will happen 2 weeks after never. Pretty awesome eh?
http://matociquala.livejournal.com/1549883.html?thread=31143995#t31143995
http://matociquala.livejournal.com/1551472.html

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

It's OH JOHN RINGO NO x 50 billion!

It's not all about me = It's all about my unique history of trauma and my sensitive writing that will save the world in my unique White 1/4-Cherokee-Princess-and-3/4-small-village-on-the-border-of-5 -Eastern-European-nations Grrl way, so stop getting in my face with your bleeding all over the floor!

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

So I think even just a simple "I'm sorry I let some of that be said in my space, I should have been more vigilant" might really help.

And that's it. It really is pretty simple. It doesn't require taking a fucking trip to Mordor. It just involves caring about people who are outside your immediate circle of friends and needs in a concrete way.

[sparkymonster.livejournal.com]

*uses hilariously inappropriate icon*

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Heeeee! It fits. I miss having an army of icons so much, but I still don't want to give LJ more money. They haven't pissed me off in a while though--I may weaken.