Educating vs. severing ties and walking away

[lavendertook]

I have an email group I host of a about a dozen folks--ex-fans of Xena Warrior Princess who walked from the fandom with me when we were appalled at the rampant misogynist turn of the show, who have been together on this list for about 10 years now.

There is one group member who I've been arguing with about Prop 8 who has just spewed the most miserable ugly racist shit it's making my blood boil, and I want to quit arguing and rid the list of her. Because I don't think there's any educating on race to do with this racist queer woman at this point. What's getting to me is that I'm the only one who is arguing with her. If that doesn't change by tomorrow, I'm shutting down the list because if that's acceptable to the rest of the supposedly liberal list, then I don't want anything more to do with them. Maybe the straight folk don't think they have the authority to argue with her like I am and should cut them slack--but we're going to talk about this. Yeah, I am more informed around the issues around the passage of Prop 8 and the racist backlash from white queers largely due to the smart, informed writing on it by my wonderful flistmates, but the kind of racism she is spewing goes way beyond this one issue.

The thing is I've been talking about coalition work and I don't even want to put up with people I've been talking with for 10 years. Am I failing at coalitioning if I shut this group down, or being sensible and saving energy for where it could be useful?

Maybe I should have kicked this one woman off the list years ago, because other folks who I know didn't want to put up with her have wandered off. It's just on a list so small, I expect people to voice their issues without me pulling a unilateral authority play, but I think it's time.

On a happier note, on the Greenbelt queer list, when one white gay man with racist excitement presented today's Washington Post article framing the passage of Prop 8 as the fault of the black community (just heard it done yet again on fucking NPR) and I countered, several other people joined in to support and further my arguments very effectively, which has been good for my blood pressure.

Addendum:
For anyone else who wants to inform themselves on the issues here, there's excellent arguments breaking it all down from sparkymonster here,
ladyjax here,
bias_cut here,
and on Pam's House Blend, darkrose here,
Pam Spaulding herself here,
and though I normally avoid this hosting site due to its continual tolerance and promotion of sexism, Shanikka's essay here has a great analysis on the stats.
And as an example of the MSM pitting one minority group against others and squashing those who are in the intersections in it's framing of the issues, here's that WP article whose writers and editor think the largely white Mormon community who poured $60 million into passing Prop 8 and the white religious groups they influenced, and who composed the majority of its supporters, is less headline worthy than the fewer voters of racial minority groups, especially African Americans, it can pin its passing on.

Addendum 2: Aw, heck, I don't need to flock what I think of folks acting like dipshits.

Comments

[womzilla.livejournal.com]

Remember: In a very close election, any distinguishable group can be identified as "the" reason the election turned the way it did.

There were a lot of people talking about throwing pro-choicers under the bus after the 2004 presidential election, because of course if single-issue anti-choicers had voted for Kerry instead of Bush, Kerry would have won.

I saw the Pam Spauling post a couple of days ago and it has brought me comfort.

As to the mailing list: Since you control the list, you should cut the spewer out and then send an e-mail to the rest of the list explaining what you have done--making sure to mention that this was the precipitating event rather than the sole cause. Then conclude that if anyone disagrees severely with your decision, they are perfectly welcome to create another list including the racist jackass and not including you.

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Yup, and such non-nuanced jump conclusions are always of the stoopid.

Thanks for the advise, The fact that my Greenbelt Pride list really rallied behind me in arguing with the one who wanted to have it out with "the" AA community, and no one joined in to back him, gave me heart. On my list I just banned the dipshit. Now I want some answers to my query to the rest of the e-list on how come I was the only one arguing with her.

[delux-vivens.livejournal.com]

the one who wanted to have it out with "the" AA community

tell him good luck with that!

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Yeah, after I tell the idiot to STFU.

[brouhaha.livejournal.com]

If that's what you decide to do, you're being sensible and saving energy. Unfortunately, there are always going to be a few people whose minds won't change through one person's effort alone. :( But I'm sure you'll handle it well regardless. :)

Thanks for the links about Prop 8.

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

Thank you, but that's the thing: it's possible it might have made her think just a little bit if the other active members on the list all joined in like the folks on my town list did. But they didn't. So I just banned her ass.

You're welcome. K.Tempest just waded in with another essay with more good points.

[delux-vivens.livejournal.com]

People have really showed their asses with this.

[lavendertook.livejournal.com]

From so many angles I really didn't need to see at all.